What our Superbowl viewership means

There are two, no three types of people in the world.1) Those who look forward most to the commercials and 2) those who really do want to see the football most. And I suppose there is 3) a small number who do not care about either, like my brother.

My kids seem to be like most people: they look forward to the commercials. They go to the bathroom during the game. They get more chips and hot sauce after a kick-off, once an up-the-field drive gets going, since they know that the network is not likely to go to a commercial during a successful drive. And they wouldn't want to miss a series of commercials.

I will not presume to place myself in a fourth category all by myself. Because I like to hide my arrogance with false humility.
But I have mild interest in the football game (as I would, say, if my son was showing off that he can ride his bike with no hands - "hey, that's great son").

And during the commercials I tremble with fear.

If ever there was a moment when a cultural gun was pointed at my kids, or your kids, or anyone's kids, it is during Superbowl commercials. And the halftime show: well, we will never forget Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction, and we'll never believe it was an accident.

How will Go-Daddy further their reputation this year? How much low-brow humor will we endure - stupid fat guys talking about beer and boobs? How much of sexual innuendo of every variety? I was pleased to hear that CBS rejects some commercials, like one for a gay online dating service featuring two young men kissing.

Yeah, get off me. I'm allowed to have my opinion. Like all parents, I want to be, and feel I have to duty to be, the filter of things that come into my kids brains.

Yes, the Superbowl is a a veritable Blitzkrieg of marketing, a Kristallnacht of subliminal cultural messages, which I will have to onerous task of deconstructing with my kids - if I really feel like it. Because it would be so easy to blow it off, to tell myself, they'll get over it, they have to learn how to live in the world.

And yes, they would. They will. If they dont see it on the Superbowl, they'll see it somewhere else like a movie.

But movies are different than a barrage of 30 second power punches, with all best marketing-psychological forces brought to bear to get the most results out of each advertiser's precious millions. One after another they will blitz, like the New Orleans defensive line, trying to sack my kids with their message.

It is a fearful time of year.

[Later] And if anyone says "just dont let them watch it, if you're so concerned", the familial cost of such a move would be worse than simply navigating the Superbowl hype. I would jerk our family into an isolationism that none of them share, which I would not be able to sustain. I would breed resentment and mutiny.