Definition of 'bathos'

In this newsworthy video by CNN, a small group of girls is doing something simultaneously potentially admirable and utterly banal. Flyers are printed, buttons sported, refrigerator magnets distributed, contracts drawn up, signatures solicited. What is their cause? Is it stay sexually pure till marriage? Avoid drugs? Discourage drunk drivers?

No.

These girls are saying "no" to tanning before the prom. "No!" they are saying, "NO! You will not take my soul! NO!" to tanning, to the pressure, to the fashion impulse of being sun-browned, the stigma of being too pale...oh wait, hold on.  yeah, they're still getting darkened, just with spray-on tans. I said. Spray. On. Tans. It's the skin cancer from exposure to UV rays they are worried about.

So, congratulations Macedonia, OH, and thank you CNN.  Some brave high school senior girls are standing up to create awareness. Not, apparently, to reject social pressure regarding appearance, vanity, artificiality, absurdity. Not to address an issue that has disturbed all teenage girls for a long time (not the 1 in 50 who get skin cancer). Not to celebrate humanity, beauty and sanity. But awareness of the increased risk of melanoma to tanning salon patrons. In advance of prom. Way to change the world.

Not that I wish to hail and defend the tanning salon industry. This is a case of dueling absurdities. It's like watching two seagulls fight over an Alka-Seltzer. Aren't I in favor of guarding against skin cancer? Sure. But focusing on tanning salons narrows their voice, (what about the sun?) and making it a Prom-centered campaign could have really brought redemption to a largely crass, high-pressure, frought-with-"At Risk"-behaviors event if not for the substitution of a kooky trend. Get your hair done. Accent your features with a little make-up. Wear perfume. But hosing yourself down to look the color of Gran Marnier is not subtle.