Outrage! Victorian internet sensibilities offended

Today the internet community is shocked, shocked, that Miley Cyrus' little sister Noah is pushing a line of lingere for 9 to 12 year olds. Noah (a girl?) is 9 years old, and she is the not-so-cute face but famous name behind a clothing line called Ohh La La Couture (website down as of this writing).

I must admit, I was ready to start cursing and ranting too when I first heard about it. I was loading ammo into my curmudgeonly culture canon, ready to start howling about this latest sellout, this preteen pimping of children by corporations.

But somewhere in the hype, I looked at the pictures.  And I realized, the true outrage here is the hypocrisy of the internet bloggers and the emotionally-scarred-for-life commentors, who are circling like sharks for some red meat to rip.

Take a look at these pictures. Yes, it's stupid. Yes, it's commercial pandering. Yes, it's more of same of what's been going on since boomers started having children. There's something unsavory about it.

But is it outrageous? Sexy? A new low? Radical exploitation? Not really IMHO. The clothes or...underwear... whatever, is not risque, for underwear. The only problem is the inclusion of an ostensible dance pole in one of the pictures. But even that is losing its suggestiveness, sadly. Is it a stage prop or a phallic symbol? Don't know anymore. That's fodder for another day.

Here's the story, dear reader. There IS no story. Just people WISHING there was a story, and reacting as if there was a story. Because everybody loves a cat fight. Everybody wants the latest outrage. They thrive on it. They live for it. These people love to watch Simon castigate some loser on American Idol, or some wall-flower get kicked off the island, or a plain-faced jilted ex-lover get slapped like a Prussian whore on Jerry Springer, or hear Sean Hannity peddle fear of Mexicans on the airwaves. That's what they want, and what sells advertisements, which all those bloggers have in spades.

But sheesh!  It's not even lingere! It's not even close to a one-piece bathing suit. If we were going to get legitimately outraged, we should have done it long, long ago. And we did. And it didn't change anything. So the latest outpouring of social angst is just emotional auto-eroticism.